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The C-Story

Dec 12th, 2015
Insanely worried that I am not gonna go into labor on Dec 14th and they’ll induce me and because the start is through artificial means nothing is going to go the way I want.

Evening of Dec 12th, 2015
I and the husband were at the holiday party. Oh you don’t look that someone who’s is due in a day.  I still don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad thing. 

Night of Dec 13th, 2015
I woke up at 1 AM. I started getting contractions and started bleeding a little. At first I thought this is a temporary thing and is gonna go. Things can’t be this easy, I had pains but they weren’t unbearable.

Early hours of Dec 13th, 2015
We called up the doc and the doc asked us to go to the hospital. We were pretty excited. You are not really invited to the hospital until you are 5 cms dilated or so we were said in our maternity classes. We reached hospital, checkedin, posed for pictures and entered the triage room. After a few hours of triage I was sent home.

Morning of Dec 13th, 2015
We reached home. So. very. disappointed. You can’t blame me.  I could not wait any longer to see him. I went to bed. Woke up to IHOP breakfast. The contraction kept coming and going. Nothing was really unbearable until…

Night of Dec 13th, 2015
I had a bath 1130 PM because I wanted to take this contractions head on and figure out if they were the real ones and oh boy real they were. The contractions were intense and at a point where I couldn’t bear I called up the doctor. We were asked to reach the hospital.
I had bath again and at this point the pains were no where near anything I’ve experience before. Sravan was terribly scared and excited and worried woke up from bed and grabbed keys. I asked him calm down. Asked him to have a bath and get ready and get ready he did.

Morning of Dec 14th, 2015
Monday morning. office hours. traffic. Triage. I was asked what my pain level on scale of 1 to 10. I said 11. I mean who has a scale just upto 10 for something like this? I was admitted for real and the epidural was given. And we wait. The nurse who was taking care of me is a true kind woman. But she had to leave when I was 9 cms dilated. In came another nurse. Boy, I did get the wrong vibes and unwanted energy filling in the room. But never judge anyone until you’ve known about them, I said to myself only because there is nothing else I could do.

Night of Dec 14th, 2015
I was in labour for about 22 hours now and on 9.5 for about 3.5 hours. And in the came doc with the news. I really want you to have a vaginal delivery but the baby is not doing bad or great. That was good enough for me to make up my make. It is what it is. At the end of it I just need my baby to be delivery alright. Wanna tear me into pieces for that? I am all yours.

11 PM of Dec 14th, 2015
As soon as it was decided that we’ll get a C-Sec done a team of 10 people walked in. I was being prepped and I hummed. I just hummed. All I cared about was to hear a cry.

11:18 PM of Dec 14th, 2015
and I heard it and I saw it and heard him cry and saw him. I cried at some point. So very overwhelming. Talking all worriedly to Sravan who was now near the baby. What’s wrong with his eye? What are they doing? What are they giving him? Why aren’t they giving him to you? Can I see him? Can you bring him here? Bring him here.

A nurse tagged me "This is your son’s tag" Your son’s. My son. 


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From the time when he turned one.

My Dear Son, 
Happy Birthday! On the eve of your first birthday, I could write about the memories of this last year, the cesarean story, my tryst with breastfeeding and mastitis, the postpartum depression or about people's restlessness to put you in some bucket.But I can't, because I have something much more significant than any of that. 
You.  I can never forget the first glimpse of you and I think I will take it to my grave.  Your spirit.  There are days where I feel extremely low. On such days, I sit back and look at you and your father goofing around the home and my heart fills with joy.  The teacher in you.  Your father and I wrote a letter before you came to this world. When I look back, I think it was less of a letter to you and more of letter to the parents in us. Learning something from you has started there and is continuing.  Your laughter.  It lights up the place! You have no idea how much fun it is to hang around with you. And finally the way you sleep, like nobody's b…